POTENTIALISM: A Warning

This notice is a warning about POTENTIALISM, a dangerous affliction that may affect you or someone you know.

Potentialism can be defined as the compulsion to mentally carrying out small opportunities—or “seeds”— to a farfetched and perhaps illogical conclusion. Those afflicted by potentialism, or POTENTIALISTS as we will call them, have an acute tendency to imagine the most extreme results of all experiences in life.

To the potentialist, business cards become careers. Dresses in catalogs become killer, attention-garnering outfits. Coffee shop flirtations become dates, dates become boyfriends, and boyfriends become husbands. Auditions become Oscar nominations (and obviously, Oscar nominations become Oscar awards, though this would not be considered symptomatic of potentialism because naturally, anybody nominated for an Oscar would entertain the possibility that they might win).

What characterizes the mental condition of the potentialist is an overdeveloped capacity to form thought-bridges between seemingly improbable events. They are frogs who, given one lily pad, imagine themselves in a whole sea of lily pads, and with the stamina to leap to each and every one, until they find themselves on the ultimate, most extreme and covetable lily pad.

These are sick frogs.

In colloquial terms, potentialists are sometimes referred to as “dreamers” or “idealists”. These individuals are prone to long hours of daydreaming, doodling, and intense late night conversations. Earbuds in, they may become so engrossed in imagining themselves as the star of the music video that is their life that they miss their subway stop. As teenagers, they probably enjoyed playing the game MASH. A little too much.

While potentialism may seem a low-risk condition, initially serving as a buffer against the harsh realities of the world, it is indeed a dangerous ailment. Potentialists sometimes exhibit high levels of optimism, the ability to see the best in everyone, and a generally sunny disposition. However, they are at risk for heartbreak, extreme disappointment, and a newfound lack of motivation when their expectations are not met. Studies have shown that in 98% of potentialism cases, the dreams of the potentialist are not in fact realized.

The good news is that most cases of potentialism resolve themselves. Some potentialists will gradually outgrow their dreamy habits. In most instances, the potentialist will experience a gradual but steadily increasing number of defeats that serve to slowly beat down their idealistic tendencies. Sometimes it only takes one event to break the spell of potentialism. These occurrences are technically referred to as SOUL CRUSHERS.

If you or someone you know suffers from potentialism, the best thing you can do for them is to gently remind them of the confines of reality. Do your best to discourage them from entertaining or even expressing their fantasies. Consider the following useful phrases:

“Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself?”

“Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch.”

“Get your head out of the clouds.”

“Well, don’t put all your emotional eggs in one basket…”.

“You’re crazy.”

While this may seem harsh at the time, remember, the potentialist is predisposed to optimism, and will need a firm hand to guide them to a more measured world view. Indeed, while there is much more research to be done on the subject, many cases of potentialism have already been linked to extreme levels of encouragement early in life. This results in high levels of self-confidence and awareness of POTENTIAL. Keep in mind that the childhood onset of potentialism is still a developing field of research, and due to a lack of conclusive findings at this time, we cannot definitively link any parental influence to this most abhorrent affliction.

We hope that this will serve to heighten awareness of potentialism in our society. Should you know someone affected by potentialism, keep in mind that it is not their fault, they merely suffer from an illness. But it is an illness, a serious one, and make no mistake, potentialism must be beaten. Therapy has also been found to be an effective treatment in some cases.

The most important thing to keep in mind regarding potentialism and potentialists is, quite simply: Stop Dreaming.