People seem to be pretty into "Smoky Eyes" these
days. I recently noticed some mannequins that had what looked like mascara
(probably sharpie, in reality) smudged dramatically under their creepy plastic
dead orbs. Even they looked alluring! Many cosmetics companies will offer kits
that contain eye-shadows in graduated shades so that you can create your own
smoky eyes. Top make-up artists have gone on record sharing their secret
techniques in magazines or on style shows on TV.
I know you've all been anxiously awaiting my own extremely
well-researched approach to this most fabulous of fads, fashionista and night
life princess that I am. I will warn you, this method may seem intense as in
reality it takes a twelve-hour cycle to complete, but trust me-- it's worth it.
Materials:
Gel eye liner (black or charcoal)
Liquid eye liner (black)
Mascara (black, and preferably of the cheap variety)
Chisel eyeliner brush
A fifth of your liquor of choice (I like to start with
whisky and move to tequila)
Coffee (red bull works too… if you're like that)
Start around 11 p.m.
1. Make coffee
2. Add liquor to coffee (this is why I like to start with
whisky)
3. Drink the above mixture while completing the following:
4. Line top eyelid with liquid eye liner-- you might as well
do that drawn out cat-eye thing, everyone else is
5. Line bottom eyelid with gel eye liner using eyeliner
brush. Use a lot-- remember, it's dark out, and you don't want to look like you
didn't put your face on
6. Apply mascara to top and bottom lashes.
7. Use eye liner brush to apply more mascara to top lashes.
Walk right up to the line of where it's starting to look "caked on"
and stop. Go no further.
8. Do a shot
9. Go out for the night
10. Stumble into bed (your bed, someone else’s, a soft piece
of floor… it doesn’t matter)
11. Wake up
12. Rub face as you are trying to figure out why your head
hurts so badly
13. It is now around 11 a.m. and you have perfect smoky
eyes. Don’t even think about showering, your hair looks better the day after
you wash it anyway.
